I grew up in a tiny little town in Western North Carolina, close to the Tennessee line, at the foot of the Qualla Boundary. Even as a small child I was acutely aware of the people that lived inside that boundary. I was fascinated with them, these beautiful people who looked nothing like me. I can remember the very first time I ventured in to that land with my Mama. I was mesmerized and terrified all at once and I think a cried in the car. The Qualla Boundary is a piece of land that is held in trust for the federally recognized Eastern Band of Cherokee, who live in Western North Carolina. According to Wikipedia the land is technically not a reservation because the land was not reserved by the federal government. The land was actually purchased by the Tribe in the 1870’s and then placed under federal protection. The total land area is 82.6 square miles and just over 8,000 people live there. When I was in the 9th grade I did something that would leave a mark on me for the rest of my life. I went to an outdoor drama in a stone amphitheater on the side of a mountain in Cherokee The drama has played there for as long as I can remember( it debuted in 1950). It is called Unto These Hills. I left there ashamed to be white. I honestly would challenge anybody, anywhere to sit through that just one time and not leave that place with a knot in your gut.
My entire adult life I have felt the need to do penance. These are the two words that I use in my own head. Other people, like Big Daddy would use words like ‘service work’ or ‘support charities’ or ‘volunteer’. In August 2012 I made the decision to leave my home, my husband and my family and spend 9 days in Browning, Montana working, living, eating and sleeping on the Blackfoot Indian Reservation. Let me just say that Big Daddy had a Duck Fit.
I went anyway.
I don’t think that I have ever been so compelled to do something in my life. The entire flight out there I playing and re playing Jason Aldean’s Fly Over States in my head, thinking I must be crazy to do this! And I just want to say as a human being, I went there as one thing ……. I came home as something completely different. I thought I had a fair grasp of the Native American plight, given where I had grown up.
Honest to God?
I had no idea.
To this day I can smell something or hear something and I am right back there. I don’t think that I have ever been able to adequately convey that experience even to Big Daddy. I cried every day. I worked as hard as I could with little sleep and not much appetite. We had no cell service so I only spoke with Big Daddy sporadically. But I was never homesick, not once. I actually refused to allow myself that luxury. It felt petulant and spoiled to me at that time and it still does. I tried with everything I had in me to leave that place better than I found it. I pray to God often that I was somehow successful, just a tiny bit even.
Homesick hit me like a locomotive the second we landed in Atlanta. And I just let it. I let it wash over me for the three hours it took us to drive to Big Daddy. He picked me up in a Shoney’s parking lot about 30 miles from our home. I have never been so glad to see his face in my life. He drove me home, drew me a bath and brought me an ice cold beer.
And I laid in that hot water and cried.
A few weeks ago I watched a movie that came out this Summer in limited release. It was and Indi film about a young girl who goes missing on the Wind River Reservation in Wyoming. I have actually been to Wind River Reservation. We drove all through it on our way from Denver to Jackson Hole. I remember being behind a school bus at about 5 in the evening. I still remember those little brown face peeking at me through the back window of that school bus. Wind River is the 5th largest ( by population) Indian reservation in this country. By land mass it is the size of Rhode Island. As with the Cherokee, they are a sovereign nation with there own government, laws, courts and the like. I want to tell y’all right now that this is not a movie for kids or the faint of heart. It is however a more that accurate portrayal of the life I found in Montana, riddled with crime, drugs and poverty. Apparently along with being a sovereign nation, the United States government doesn’t keep a lot of statistics regarding that crime, drugs and poverty.
But somebody needs to.
And By the way through an interesting turn of events a portion of the profits are going toward Native American Non profits.
Please let me know what you think if you find yourself watching it.
Paige
I saw this in the movie theatre when it was released. I left with such a heavy heart and cried that this goes on but no one is paying any attention. My heart still aches for the tribal populations who we seem to ignore in the U.S. and leave to have to try and survive in terrible conditions.
My husband and I recently watched Wind River. It’s an amazing movie. Thank you for sharing your heart and your experiences.
We just recently watched this movie on Netflix and had never heard about it before. It was very good and very sad. My grandfather was a quarter Cherokee, his mother (my great-grandmother being half). He never shared any stories about his childhood, but farm-life in the early 1900’s was tough, no matter what your nationality was. I have always felt such a pull of my heart for the plight of the American Indians and how awful they’ve always been treated. We live in AZ where there are several Indian tribes living on their own land. Of course, there are also a gazillion casinos, too….don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Sadly, we seem to be treating the Hispanics in a similar manner to the Indians….they were here first, too. Thank you for sharing your story.
Carol
I watched this movie recently. Have you watched the Longmire series on Netflix? It echoes some of the themes found in Wind River but takes place in Wyoming. Its based on the life of a sheriff there. My husband did something similar to what you did, too. He took a week-long missions-oriented trip to a Navajo reservation in Arizona. He still talks about it nearly fifteen years later. Its always good to get a different perspective on life when viewed through someone else’s eyes. Keeps one grounded in my opinion.
Hi Audra
Yes I have been watching Longmeyer. Wind River is in Wyoming as well. It’s southernmost border in in Lander if memory serves. Thanks for coming to visit me here 🙂
I’ve ridden in the Wind River area (thru where the Pony Express trails are located) and it’s truly beautiful country. However, there is the land which “belongs” to the American Natives and I think, from those that we talked with, the US Government is not necessarily wanted or needed. These people have their own government and keep their own records (some are not privy to the public who are not blood/tribe related). We must always be careful of wanting to “help” because sometimes it’s intrusive and truly just not wanted.
They need help Margaret, especially the little ones. They are who compelled me to go. It was like a study in Fetal alcohol syndrome in Browning.
Wow! You followed what God impressed upon your heart and I sure you made a diffeerence during that trip…your work and actions were not wasted! Thank you for sharing a very personal experience! I watched the movie. It was excellent…I was shoked to read statitics are not kept on crime, crimes against women. I livee in an area that has several reservations. Im embaarassed to say, I know very little about the People here. You are inspiring!
Thanks for sharing. I now got to see the movie. Touching!